


Cab Ride

by Dreamshaper, maschinenmensch



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, But then there is a bit of fluff, F/F, Phil is a jerkass, The Holtzbros, and a bit of holtzbert, brought to you by
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-09-02 21:14:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8683621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamshaper/pseuds/Dreamshaper, https://archiveofourown.org/users/maschinenmensch/pseuds/maschinenmensch
Summary: An AU in which Holtzmann drives a cab and her last fare of the night might be the prettiest woman she's ever seen. Too bad she's with a douchebag.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So you thought Dreamshaper and I could only write ridiculous smut together. You were wrong! Although after reading this, you may wish we had stuck to that. Enjoy!

Jillian Holtzmann sighed as she counted the bills in her hand.

_Two frickin’ dollars._

She had just dropped her latest fare off at one of the swankiest clubs in the city, and all the group of well-dressed professionals could muster was a two dollar tip.

_Well that’s definitely not going to cover my book fees for next semester._

Holtzmann had taken up driving a cab several months prior, needing the extra cash as a ph.D candidate in engineering at Columbia. For the most part she enjoyed it - she met a ton of interesting people taking them to and fro and loved to hear their stories. Her fares had allowed her to discover parts of the city she never knew existed before. And as a bonus, she had gotten the phone numbers of several attractive ladies, most of whom she had paid a visit to once her shift had ended.

Tonight though - tonight had sucked.

Her first fare spent the whole time in the taxi screaming on his cell phone about stock prices, and barely acknowledged her existence the entire drive. Then there was the trio of drunk young men, one of whom barely got the back window open before vomiting everywhere. He still managed to get puke on the side of Holtz’s cab, meaning she wasted valuable time when she could’ve been collecting fares running her car through an automatic car wash. And now this gaggle of cheapskates.

_Whatever. One more fare and I can spend the evening in bed with a tube of Pringles and about three bottles of beer._

The blonde twenty-something sighed as she pulled away from the curb. She didn’t drive far before she spotted a man hailing her down. He looked to be in his 30s, dressed in pair of khakis with a sensible sweater vest. He was tightly gripping the arm of an attractive auburn-haired woman of comparable age, wearing a tweed skirt and a blouse with the tiniest of bow-ties.

_She’s cute. Too bad she’s straight and apparently dating Douchebag McGee._

The couple slid in the back seat of Holtzmann’s cab, the man still gripping his companion’s arm.

“Where to my friends?”

The man scowled. “66th and Central Park West. Make it quick.” He paused.

“And I’m not your friend.”

“Sure thing, you’ll be there before you know it.” When the man turned away, Holtzmann quietly mumbled “Prick,” under her breath.

_God, what a perfect ending to a shit evening._

Holtzmann could tell when a fare didn’t care to engage with her, which was perfectly fine. She understood some folks were simply not social, or just prefered to be lost in their own thoughts. During those rides she usually tuned out whatever was going on in the back seat, focusing on getting to their destination as quickly as possible. It was hard to ignore what was currently going on behind her though.

“Dammit Erin, I told you to be quiet during dinner. You opened your big mouth and now the head of the department probably thinks we’re both idiots! We’ll never get funding now thanks to you.”

“I’m sorry Phil, I just thought he might be interested in -”

“No one’s ever interested in what you have to say Erin. You should know that by now. You’re lucky I even stick around you. Honestly, I don’t know why I bother at this point.”

Holtzmann looked in the rear-view mirror and met the stare of the woman in the backseat. She could see tears pooling in the corner of her eyes.

“I said I was sorry Phil. What more do you want me to do?”

“Learn your place in this relationship! You may have a brilliant mind, but you are really quite stupid.”

_Ok, enough of this…_

“Hey!” Holtzmann shouted from the front seat, startling the couple behind her. “I know it’s none of my business, but where I’m from we don’t talk to a lady like that.”

Holtzmann turned back to look at the two passengers as she was stuck at a stop light. The woman, Erin, looked even more terrified than before. Holtz stared bullets at Phil, whose face was now bright red in anger.

“Who the fuck do you think you are loser? You’re just some punk driving a cab - I bet you never graduated high school. And what dumpster did you get your clothes out of? You’re right, this isn’t your business, so keep driving and leave us alone.”

Phil turned back to Erin, his eyes blazing. “This was an important evening and now it’s ruined, all because of you!” He reached out to grab Erin’s wrist again, twisting it slightly.

“Ow! That hurts Phil! Let me go!” Erin struggled against the strong grip on her arm. The man was bringing his face closer to her own. She leaned back into the seat as far as she possibly could in an attempt to get away from him.

Holtzmann cranked the steering wheel to the right suddenly, causing Phil to lose his grip on Erin’s wrist and fall backward. She ignored the honks of the cars behind her as she cut over several lanes of traffic in order to pull the cab over to the nearest empty space on the curb.

Holtzmann turned around, her voice shaking with anger.

“Get the fuck out of my cab you jackass.”

Phil’s eyes got wide. He pulled himself upright and thrusted his face inches from Holtzmann’s own. She could smell the alcohol on his breath.

“Make me you bitch.”

“All righty -” Holtzmann ducked down slightly to grab the baseball bat she had stashed under her car seat for emergency purposes. She had never had to use it up until this point but she figured this would be as good time as any to utilize it.

She held the bat in front of her face with two hands and mustered the meanest look she could.

“I’ll have you know asshole, I batted cleanup on my high school’s softball team. So feel free to test me if you feel lucky. But know I have no qualms breaking that big nose on your ugly face because you can’t keep your hands off women.”

Phil shrunk back slightly. “You can’t do that.”

“Watch me. Now get the fuck out.”

The man fumbled with the handle before nearly spilling out onto the street when the door opened suddenly. He stuck his head back into the cab, pointing his finger at Erin.

“This isn’t over!”

“Shut up you piece of shit.” Holtzmann managed to reach behind her and slam the door shut, almost hitting Phil’s head in the process. She squealed the tires of her cab as she pulled away from the curb, trying to put as much distance between herself and the abusive man as quickly as possible. As she sped down the street she looked into the rear-view mirror again. Erin had tears spilling down her cheeks as she hugged herself.

“Are you ok?” Holtzmann turned back to the traumatized woman and tried to give her a reassuring smile.

“I - I think so.” Erin’s eyes met the cab driver’s. “Thank you,” she said softly.

“You’re welcome. Hang on a minute.”

Holtzmann weaved in and out of traffic until she spotted the parking lot of a 24-hour drugstore. She pulled into a spot and turned her cab off.

“I’m Holtzmann.” The cab driver turned around and offered her hand to the woman behind her. “And I presume you’re Erin?”

“Y-yes. Dr. Erin Gilbert.” she took the offered hand and shook it. Holtzmann noticed how well the other woman’s hand fit in her own.

_This is not the time to flirt you idiot._

Erin frowned. “No offense, but what kind of name is Holtzmann?”

Holtz chuckled. “It’s my last name. No one’s called me Jillian outside of my family in ages. You can call me Holtz if you’d like.” She winked, not being able to help herself.

“Ok, Holtz.” A slight smile appeared on the woman’s lips, causing butterflies to make themselves known in Holtzmann’s stomach.

“So Dr. Erin Gilbert, what are you a doctor of?”

“I’m an assistant professor at Columbia in particle physics.”

Holtzmann’s mouth hung open. “No shit. I’m currently getting my ph.D in the nuclear engineering department at Columbia!”

Erin smiled genuinely for the first time since she entered the cab. “How about that? I’m shocked I haven’t run into you at some point.”

“Me too. I would’ve remembered a professor as hot as you are.”

_Oh Jesus Holtzmann. Can you ever stop?_

Erin looked down at her feet. Holtzmann noticed she appeared to be blushing slightly.

“So um, not to bring back unpleasant memories, but that Phil guy? Total asshole.”

Erin sighed. “I know. I’ve been wanting to break it off with him, but it’s just-”

“It’s ok, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I’m just your humble cab driver, trying to save the world, one fare at a time.” Holtzmann reached over and placed her hand on Erin’s shoulder, hoping she wasn’t being too creepy.

Erin brought her hand up to squeeze the one resting on her shoulder. “I don’t know how I can ever repay you for doing what you just did for me, a total stranger. I’ve never seen him that angry before. It was...scary.”

The two women sat in silence for a few moments. Holtzmann could swear her hand was on fire in the places it was touching Erin.

“So, um I hope this isn’t too forward or anything. You’re my last fare for the night and I kinda don’t want to drop you off at your place right now in this state. Would you like to grab a coffee? My favorite 24-hour greasy spoon is right down the street.”

Erin looked up at Holtzmann with a bright smile.

“I’d like that.”

“Excellent”, Holtzmann beamed, simultaneously feeling a flutter of _something_ in her gut at the smile on the other woman’s face, “you’ll see that they have the best coffee in this area. Perhaps in all of New York!”

Erin gave her another smile and nodded, then sank back into the car seat as the blonde manoeuvred the car out of the parking spot; she glanced down on her wrist, which was reddening where Phil had grabbed her, and frowned to herself, feeling her stomach clench up as she thought back to the anger she’d seen on his face.

She was unaware that Holtzmann kept glancing at the rear view mirror, and saw the shift of her mood; and then and there, Holtzmann decided that she preferred to see Erin smile, and decided that she’d give her best to bring the smile back to the older woman’s face.

 _How dare that asshat talk to her like that_ , she thought to herself, her grip on the steering wheel briefly tightening, _man, I should have given him one with the bat just for that._

“Okay”, she said out loud, making sure to let none of her anger at the man show through her face or voice, “here we are! It doesn’t look like much, but trust me, they do have amazing coffee.”

As she turned to smile at Erin, she noticed the way the older woman was looking at the taxi meter, and while she killed the engine, she reached over with one hand and reset it, earning a startled look from the redhead.

“That one’s on me”, Holtzmann told her, “just like the coffee.”

She hopped out of the vehicle before Erin had the chance to say something, and opened the back door for her passenger; to her delight, Erin blushed slightly at the gesture, mumbling “Thank you” as she got out of the car, eying the diner Holtzmann had taken them to with a bit of scepticism, nodding though when Holtz asked her if she still felt like having coffee.

Holtzmann beamed at her, saying “Excellent” once more before she led the way; she held the door for Erin again, strolling in behind her, and the moment she sat foot inside the diner, the tall woman behind the counter called out to her, loud enough to make Erin flinch in surprise.

“Holtzy!” the woman called, smiling brightly, Holtzmann beaming back at her and responding with “Pattycakes!”, the physicist feeling a bit like a third wheel as the two women grinned at each other.

“The usual for you?” the woman asked, “and you brought a friend, lovely! What can I get you, honey?”

“Um, just coffee?” Erin replied, earning a nod from the woman, while Holtzmann apparently deemed it necessary to make introductions, smiling brightly at Erin before she gestured at the woman behind the counter.

“Erin, this is Patty, also known as Pattycakes, owner of this diner and often my saviour during long nights”, she stated, “Pattycakes, this is Erin, she teaches at Columbia.”

“Nice to meet you, Erin”, Patty smiled, then gave the blonde a strict look, “and don’t listen to her, no one else calls me Pattycakes. I’ve told her a million types to stop it, she just won’t listen.”

“I like giving people nicknames”, Holtzmann shrugged, unperturbed by the snort Patty let out before she moved to get started on their orders, “don’t worry, Erin, you’ll get one too sooner or later.”

“Yay?” Erin gave back, raising an eyebrow; Holtzmann smirked at her and winked, feeling like grinning from ear to ear when the older woman blushed a bit again in response.

“Sit down, lovelies”, Patty told them, “I’ll bring your drinks in a minute.”

“You’re the best”, Holtzmann told her, then led the way to one of the booths, Erin following her; they sat down facing each other, Holtzmann stretching her arms over her head before she slumped back comfortably, relieved to be out of the car seat, her casual posture a stark contrast to the loaded question she asked once Erin had gotten comfortable too.

“So tell me”, she stated, “what’s a pretty, smart woman like you doing with an asshat like that Phil guy?”

“I don’t even know anymore”, Erin sighed in response, finding herself opening up even though she was facing a total stranger, “he showed interest when I started working at Columbia, and it was flattering, you know? I don’t get much of that. So I went out with him a few times, then we made it kind of official, he’s normally not like that…”

“Or he wasn’t like that until now”, Holtzmann gave back, leaning forward now as she gave the other woman a serious look, one which made her want to shift on her seat, “not to overstep or something, but people who abuse their partners? They hardly ever start that right away. And what he did tonight was definitely abusive.”

In response, Erin’s gaze dropped down to her wrist, the skin there still reddened where he had grabbed her; before she could come up with a reply though, Patty came over with the drinks and, to the surprise of the physicist, two plates of apple pie, smiling warmly at her as she put one of them down in front of her.

“You look like you could need something sweet in your life”, she then said, turning and walking back to her counter before Erin had the chance to say something; and suddenly, she felt tears sting in her eyes again, overwhelmed by all this kindness of strangers she experienced that night, blinking her eyes hard in an effort to hold them back.

“I’m sorry”, she mumbled at Holtzmann’s alarmed look, “I’m… it’s just, I’m not used to people being… so nice. Not even people I know. I don’t make friends easily, you know, and God, why am I telling you this? I don’t even know you.”

“Don’t be sorry”, Holtzmann hurriedly reassured her, earning a doubtful look, “I’m glad if I could help. Nobody deserves to be treated that way.”

Erin gave a barely perceptible shrug, prompting Holtzmann to reach across the desk and place her hand over the other woman’s; and again it felt as if her skin was burning where it touched Erin’s, and to her delight, the redhead didn’t pull back, even managing a tiny smile at the contact instead.

For a few seconds, they looked in each other’s eyes, Holtzmann glad to see that some of the sadness vanished from Erin’s gaze while the redhead was quite fascinated by how blue the other woman’s eyes were… and just then, her phone vibrated in her bag, completely ruining the moment.

“Um, sorry”, Erin mumbled, pulling out her phone, the way her face fell as she looked at the display telling Holtzmann at once who was calling her; and she didn’t quite know why, but she felt relieved when Erin didn’t take the call, letting the phone drop back into her bag instead.

The vibrating stopped, for a bit – and then started again, the redhead grimacing while Holtzmann raised an eyebrow. When he called for a third and fourth time, Erin’s features started to show a strange mixture of annoyance and desperation, and when he called for the fifth time, Holtzmann had enough.

“Give me the phone?” she half said, half suggested, “I think I can make him stop. But I won’t be rude or crass… Well, not too rude.”

For a moment, Erin considered saying No, telling herself that Holtzmann had done more than enough for her already; then, Phil called _again_ , and before she could allow herself to overthink this, she pulled her phone from her bag and handed it to the blonde, earning a smirk and a wink from her as she took the phone and pushed the button which took the call.

“Hi Phil!” she said cheerfully, her tone making Erin smile a bit again, “how’s it hangin’? … Who I am? I’m Holtzmann. Remember, the taxi driving punk who nearly whacked you with a baseball bat. … Yes, this is Erin’s phone, wow, smart, no surprise you work at Columbia, someone as smart as you. … No, she does not want to talk to you right now. In fact, I don’t think she’ll ever want to talk to you again. … Now, now, Phil, calm down.”

Erin could hear Phil squawking angrily through the phone, but Holtzmann didn’t look all too intimidated; in fact, she appeared to enjoy herself immensely, smirking as she let him go on for a while, then interrupted him at last.

“Sorry mate”, she told him, sounding quite friendly still, “but no, I don’t think I can hand her the phone. And I don’t think she will call you back. You blew it, dude, sad to say, but your own fault. Guess there’s no relationship left in which she can learn her place, as you put it so charmingly, huh?”

Phil’s voice increased in volume, and he sounded angrier, too; Erin couldn’t make out what he was saying, but she figured it couldn’t be nice, judging how Holtzmann’s smile slowly faded, her voice a tad harder as well when she replied once more.

“Well, it is a shame you would say that”, she told the man, “to someone you don’t even know, no less. Just FYI, buddy, the taxi-driving no good shitheel punk is actually close to being a nuclear engineer, so… You might not wanna insult someone who has access to radioactive materials. Have a good day!”

She hung up and handed the phone back to Erin, smirking; the redhead smiled back at her, not quite sure if this would be enough to make Phil stop, but at least, it apparently had been for the moment, the phone not beginning to vibrate again, to the physicist’s great relief.

“Thank you”, she said, earning a smile and a shrug from Holtzmann; and this time, Erin was the one to reach out, grasping the other woman’s hand across the table, their eyes meeting again, and the two smiling at each other, the feeling that _something_ was happening impossible to ignore for both of them.

* * *

 

“So, um… Thanks again for everything”, Erin said quite a while later, in front of her apartment building now; it was late, and she felt tired by now, but she also, for some strange reason she couldn’t quite name, didn’t want to just let Holtzmann leave, still feeling this odd connection to the younger woman, even though she wasn’t sure where it was coming from.

“Um”, she thus started again, feeling awkward and insecure, but Holtzmann was looking at her questioningly and, she thought, with a bit of hope, and so, she gathered all her courage and went on, “drop by at my office at Columbia some time? I can repay you for that coffee. Wait…”

She quickly dug through her bag, until she found the small silver case in which she kept her business cards; Holtzmann watched how she pulled out one of them, then scribbled something on the back with a pen she found in her bag as well, a slight blush reddening her cheeks again as she handed the card to the blonde afterwards.

“I put my private cell phone number on the back”, she explained as Holtz studied the card, then carefully tucked it into the breast pocket of her jacket, “unlike Phil, you’re welcome to call me anytime. Thanks again…”

She found a sudden burst of courage, stepped forward and kissed the other woman on the cheek; it was a brief and innocent kiss, her lips only making contact for two seconds, her blush having deepened by the time she pulled back again, even though the wide, overjoyed grin on Holtzmann’s face showed her that she hadn’t done anything wrong.

“I’m gonna call you”, Holtzmann told her, sounding as happy as she was looking, “have a good night, hot stuff.”

The blush which had been fading returned with full force at being called that, but Erin still smiled back; she wished Holtzmann the same, then finally turned and made her way into the building, feeling Holtzmann’s eyes on her back as she did so, unable to stop smiling as she made her way to her apartment door.

She wasn’t sure what these strange feelings meant, and if anything would come of them; but she knew that she already was looking forward to the blonde calling her, and she couldn’t wait to see where this new development in her life might lead.

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dreamshaper here - this is what happens when maschinenmensch and I talk about cab rides, hahaha. Someone stop us...


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! You asked for a continuation of this - ask, and ye shall receive.  
> *puts on safety hat and scampers off*

_2:38 a.m._

The alarm clock seemed almost accusing as Erin looked at it, and she sighed, rolling over once more so she ended up on her back and stared up at the ceiling, wondering if it made sense to actually stay in bed or if it’d be smarter to get up and maybe read, just so her eyes would get tired.

 _I’m gonna be so tired tomorrow at work,_ she thought to herself, dismayed; her mind was a whirlwind though, and she couldn’t stop thinking about the evening, one which had started quite harmlessly with the dinner Phil and she had been invited to and then had taken such a strange turn.

Phil’s behaviour still nagged at her, and again and again, she thought of what her saviour had said about people who’d end up abusing their partners – and she thought of the woman who’d helped her, of how kind she had been in the diner and of how happy she had looked when Erin had given her the business card.

“Holtzmann”, she mumbled to herself, strangely enjoying it how the name rolled off her tongue, “Holtz.”

She wondered if this was weird behaviour, lying in bed in the dark and mumbling a name to herself; then, her cheeks heated up as she thought back to how she had kissed Holtzmann on the cheek, asking herself what had gotten into her when she had done so. She was straight, she reminded herself… but straight women certainly didn’t kiss random other women who had saved them from a potentially abusive boyfriend on the cheek.

And straight women didn’t give their phone numbers to these random other women, and certainly didn’t fantasize about how it might feel to run her hands through blonde locks while kissing the owner of said locks.

Sighing once more, Erin rolled over again, glaring at the clock as if it could be blamed for her lack of sleep; she wondered if Holtzmann would call her, like she had said, or if the blonde just had been nice and polite when she had said she would, and she asked herself what she would say if the blonde really would call her and perhaps ask her out.

_Yes? No? Okay, but we’re just friends? Okay, but you know I’m straight, right?_

Another turn, and now she ended up on her stomach, burying her face in the pillow; she groaned in frustration, asking herself why this had to be so complicated, then rolled on her back yet again and stared up at the ceiling until sleep finally came.

“Oh jeez”, Abby commented as Erin entered the office, not even bothering to say good morning, “you look as if you haven’t slept all night. Long evening?”

“You could say so”, Erin sighed, making her way to the coffee machine much like a zombie might shuffle from their grave, “but not what you probably think right now. It started as a disaster and… ended very different to what I’d been expecting.”

She took the time to prepare her coffee, then told Abby everything, from Phil’s behaviour – which made Abby grumble, she never had liked the man, but had held back from showing her dislike for Erin’s sake – to how Holtzmann had helped her and had taken her for coffee afterwards.

She did not mention that she had given Holtzmann her number, and that she had kissed her on the cheek before she’d gone inside; still she blushed as she spoke about how the engineer had driven her home, and Abby held back a smirk as she watched her friend’s cheeks redden.

For a while now, the researcher had been quite sure that Erin wasn’t as perfectly straight as she wanted to believe; she’d never commented on this though, knowing it would only freak the redhead out, but now, as she listened to her talk about this mysterious Holtzmann, and saw how her cheeks reddened as she did so, she wondered if perhaps, Erin finally had found the one person who would make her realize that it’d be okay to be herself, that it was perfectly fine to not be a hundred percent regular, the way people expected her to be.

“Well, if I run into Phil, I might just slip and kick him”, she declared once Erin had finished her little tale, “what a jerkass, you should be glad to be rid of him. You think you’ll run into her here?”

“I don’t know”, Erin gave back, Abby noticing how she glanced at her phone and wondering it perhaps, Erin hadn’t told her everything about her evening, “maybe? I’d kind of like to, I still owe her coffee.”

She looked at her phone again, then cleared her throat and told Abby they’d better get to work; and for several hours, they did work, Erin managing to focus despite her tiredness and the distractions on her mind, one of them annoying in form of Phil, one quite pleasant in form of Holtzmann.

And then, her phone rang, and she took the call so fast that it made Abby raise an eyebrow, the second one moving up as well when Erin happily said “Yes, Holtz, it’s me”, the redhead blushing as she realized too late that now, Abby knew she had given the blonde her number.

“How’s it going, hot stuff”, Holtzmann wanted to know, Erin blushing again at the nickname while she told her she was fine; the blonde said “Excellent”, her next words only making the physicist blush deeper, and she was glad that Holtz couldn’t actually see her.

“So, my last class got cancelled ‘cause the prof is sick”, Holtzmann told her, “want to grab lunch with me? I know a really good pizza place not far from campus.”

“Yes”, Erin replied, without thinking about it for a second, “I’ll meet you at the campus gate?”

“Perfect, see you in a few”, Holtzmann gave back, and Erin could hear the smile on her face; she smiled as well while she confirmed, then hung up, giving her best to ignore the way Abby raised her brows again when she told her that she had to go and would be back soon.

“Have fun”, Abby dryly replied; Erin blushed _again_ and cleared her throat, then grabbed her purse and hurried out without another word, Abby looking after her friend fondly, hoping that things would work out for her.

* * *

 

Holtzmann fidgeted by the campus gate.

_It’s just lunch. With a professor. Whom just happened to slide into your cab last night and you took out for coffee. The professor who gave you her number and kissed you on the cheek. The really hot professor who you’d like to…_

Holtz groaned and rubbed her face. She had barely slept the night prior, too amped up from nearly kicking that douchebag’s ass in her cab. But her lack of sleep was mostly due from meeting Erin. She had known her less than 24 hours and already she felt protective of her.

Of course the dream she had woken up from in a cold sweat from at 3am hadn’t helped either. The images of what the professor and herself were doing in her cab in that fantasyland had made her feel wet in a myriad of places. She never fell back asleep, having had two extra large coffees thus far with a shot of espresso to keep her from falling over at this point.

Holtzmann spotted Erin walking through campus toward her and couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face. She saw how the physicist was dressed, impeccably in a skirt suit and pumps (and one of those endearing little bow ties again) and wondered what she would say when she saw her own attire. Holtz was wearing a paint-splattered pair of overalls over a crop top, her leather jacket and combat boots completing her ensemble. She hurriedly brushed some muffin crumbs off her front before Erin approached.

“Hey,” Erin said shyly, Holtzmann not missing the slight redness that tinted her cheeks.

“Hey yourself. Hungry?”

“Yeah. I didn’t really eat a good breakfast.”

“Huh. As a scientist you should know breakfast is the most important meal of the day. That’s why I always keep at least three candy bars in my pockets at all times. Shall we?”

Holtzmann offered the crook of her elbow, hoping she wasn’t being too forward. She breathed a sigh of relief when the professor slipped her arm through hers, a slow smile widening across her face as she did so.

“Lead the way Holtz.”

The two women leisurely walked the two blocks to the pizza parlour, each telling the other what they had done so far that day. Holtzmann noticed Erin seemed to be shocked that she was quite interested in the research she was currently doing, gaining more confidence in speaking about it the more questions Holtz asked. She felt a pang of sadness realizing that Phil probably never took her work seriously, much less listened to what she had to say.

Holtzmann opened the door of the restaurant once they reached it, directing Erin to a pair of stools next to a hi-top table in the corner of the small pizzeria.

“They sell it by the slice. Whaddya want?”

“Um, cheese?”

Holtzmann raised an eyebrow. “Really? Live a little Dr. Gilbert!”

The professor chuckled. “Ok ok, let’s get wild. Sausage?”

Holtzmann responded with a wink. “Much better. Be back in a second.”

The blonde couldn’t stop herself from bouncing when ordering at the counter, the nervousness of spending lunch with this incredible woman almost overwhelming her. She slid the cashier a few bills, stacking the two plates of pizza on top of one another in one hand, holding a pitcher of soda in the other, tucking two plastic cups in the pockets of her overalls.

“Jeez Holtz, why didn’t you say anything, I could’ve helped you carry that!” Erin exclaimed as Holtzmann made it back to the table. She grabbed the pitcher from Holtz’s hand. “And did you foot the bill again? I still owe you for coffee last night!”

“Nonsense,” Holtzmann slid Erin’s slice of sausage pizza across the table. “Next time, ok?”

  
_There will be a next time, right?_

Erin smiled shyly before taking a bite of her pizza. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome Erin.” Holtzmann grinned before biting into her pizza, toppings spilling everywhere.

Erin giggled. “Um, how many toppings did you get on yours?”

“Six, seven? But who’s counting?”

The two women ate their lunch amidst comfortable conversation. Neither of them seemed to notice they talked for long after they had finished eating.

“I’ve never met anyone quite like you Holtz.” Erin tilted her head, smiling at Holtzmann in a way that made the blonde feel tingly in various appendages.

“Well, I should hope so Dr. Gilbert. I’m one of a kind.” Holtzmann winked, causing the auburn haired professor to bite her lip before looking down at the table. Holtz was barely able to stifle the moan that wanted to escape her mouth.

“So! My cab is just a block away. I can drop you off at your office, or home if your day is over.”

“Actually would you mind dropping me off at my apartment? I didn’t sleep too well last night so I doubt I’ll be productive the rest of the day. Besides, I have to prepare my lecture for tomorrow.”

“Sure thing.” Holtzmann offered Erin her hand to help her off the stool, trying yet again to ignore the feelings when their skin touched.

_You’ve got it bad already Holtzmann. Sheesh._

After a short walk, Holtz sprinted ahead of Erin to ensure she was able to open the passenger side door of her cab for her, bowing with a flourish as the professor slid into the front seat. Holtz noticed the way Erin giggled when she did so, the sound making her stomach flutter.

As they drove to Erin’s apartment (the route was easily remembered by Holtzmann, who had a photographic memory for such things), the two women discussed books they had read lately. Holtzmann listened intently to Erin describing how much she loved a recent collection of short stories.

_I could listen to her talk forever I think. She could read the phonebook and she’d have my rapt attention._

Holtzmann was nearly glum when she saw Erin’s apartment building down the block shortly thereafter. She pulled over to the curb out front, putting her cab in park before turning to face the physicist.

“Well we’re here. And I didn’t even have to throw anyone out of my cab this time.”

Holtzmann cringed on the inside, hoping her comment wasn’t too upsetting to Erin. But the sparkle in the professor’s eyes told her otherwise.

“Thank you Holtz. Again. For everything.”

Erin reached out and put her hand on top of the blonde’s. Both women stared at one another for what seemed like forever until Holtzmann slowly brought her face closer to Erin’s.

_What. Are. You. Doing._

Holtz nervously brushed her lips against Erin’s, her heart sinking when there was no response from the woman just a hair’s width away from her.

_Ah, shit._

Holtzmann was about to pull back and apologize when she felt Erin’s hand in her hair, pushing their lips together once again, but this time, Erin kissed back. She *really* kissed back, causing a strangled moan to escape from the back of Holtzmann’s throat.

Holtz felt a buzzing in her head - no one kiss in her life had _ever_ made her feel this way. She moved her hands to Erin’s shoulders, squeezing them lightly.

Suddenly Erin pulled back, eyes wide, breathing heavily. She looked absolutely terrified.

“Oh my god.”

“Erin?” Holtzmann moved to touch her cheek, but the professor had already grabbed her purse off the floor and reached for the door handle before she could do so.

“Wait - Erin!”

Erin bolted out of the cab, nearly sprinting for the door of her apartment, never looking back once.

_What just happened? Goddammit, what did I just do?_

Holtzmann tried to stop the tears from falling from her eyes, angrily wiping them off her face with the back of her hand. She punched the seat next to her.

_Fuck. FUCK._


	3. Chapter 3

Erin slammed her apartment door shut, as if Holtzmann had chased her – she hadn’t – and sank against it, squeezing her eyes shut in a helpless effort to hold back the tears.

She couldn’t believe what she had done, a strangled sob escaping her, her mind a whirlwind of anxiety and disbelief and emotional pain; she didn’t even fully realize what she was doing as she slid down the door until she sat on the hardwood floor, drawing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

_You kissed Holtzmann. You kissed another woman. Oh my God._

Erin tried to control her breathing, knowing that spiralling into a panic attack was the last thing she needed; she couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss though, she couldn’t believe that she’d act like this.

All this time she had tried so hard to be normal, especially ever since she had started at Columbia, and then she went and kissed another woman, if anyone had seen them…

_You kissed Holtzmann,_ she thought to herself again, thinking back to how Holtzmann’s hair had felt beneath her fingers, how soft and sweet and good the kiss had been—

_No no no. It was not soft and sweet and good. That was wrong, you never should have done that, why did you let her take you to lunch in the first place? Jesus Christ…_

She felt her phone vibrate in her bag, and nearly jumped, suddenly sure that it was Holtzmann, calling her to ask if she had lost her mind; for a moment, she considered to simply ignore it, then told herself she couldn’t do this, it could be work related after all, and it’d look bad if she didn’t take the call.

Wiping at her face, Erin dug her phone out of the bag, clearing her throat, hoping her tears wouldn’t be audible through her voice; she glanced at her display, halfway expecting to see _Holtz_ flashing there, and so, her eyes widened when she saw who was calling.

She cleared her throat again, not wanting to let the caller hear how upset she was; then, she took another deep breath before she accepted the call, surprised at how steady her voice sounded, perhaps because here was her chance to go back to perfect normalcy, to forget that this kiss had ever happened. “Hello, Phil.”

* * *

 

Erin skilfully avoided bringing Holtzmann up in front of Abby the next day, even though she could tell that the researcher was dying to know how her lunch with the woman had been; she quickly realized though that Erin didn’t want to talk about it, and held back her numerous questions, even though she felt like screaming when the physicist let her know she’d meet Phil for lunch.

“Phil?” Abby couldn’t hold back a comment, “Really? After how he acted?”

“He just wants to talk”, Erin mumbled, cheeks flushing at the look on Abby’s face, “I’ll see you later.”

Abby just sighed, and made no further comment; Erin felt a bit guilty as she walked from the office to the campus café where she’d meet Phil, even though she felt a bit better when he smiled warmly at her as she made her way to where he was sitting, and even got up to pull out a chair for her.

“Thank you for meeting with me”, he said once she had sat down and he had taken his seat again, as well, “I wanted to apologize for how I acted the other night, I was truly awful. I’m sorry.”

Erin hadn’t been sure what she had been expecting when he had asked her to meet him for lunch, but it hadn’t been this; and so, all she could do was stammer “Um, it’s, it’s okay”, making him smile brightly at her while he reached over the desk to grasp her hand.

“Thank you for forgiving me”, he said, with another smile, “but to make it up to you fully, I’d like to take you out to dinner tonight. Please say yes, Erin? I’d hate to throw away what we have over one argument.”

It hadn’t really been an argument, a small part of her reminded her, it had been him being abusive; the bigger, louder part of her which wanted to desperately to be normal, to fit in, shushed that small voice though, and so, she nodded, and tried to ignore the scratch of stubble when he kissed her on the cheek as an answer to her agreement, and to ignore the tiny voice which told her that this was a bad idea.

* * *

 

Acting the perfect gentleman, Phil picked Erin up at her apartment for their dinner; and when he kissed her Hello, there was scratchy stubble again, and his lips were somewhat dry and a bit rough, and before Erin could stop the thought from emerging, she had realized that kissing Holtzmann had felt way better than kissing Phil.

She rigorously pushed that thought back down, telling herself that it was a waste of time, anyway – she was with Phil, that was how it was supposed to be, and even if she wouldn’t be anymore some day, Holtzmann wouldn’t be an option, not anymore, not after how she had bolted from the cab the day before.

So, she focused on Phil as a cab – with a male driver who was decidedly not Holtzmann – took them to the restaurant; she listened to him talk about his work after they had ordered their food, and when she tried to speak of something she was working on, she wasn’t even truly surprised when he didn’t show much interest.

“Yeah, fine, nice”, he said, raising an eyebrow, “but did you know that I…”

He launched into a tirade about a paper he was working on, and Erin made herself smile and nod, not really listening though – instead, she thought back to how Holtzmann had listened to her with genuine attention, had asked questions and generally had shown interest in what she had been talking about, even though she, unlike Phil, didn’t even work in the same field.

More and more, she got convinced that going out with him again had been a bad idea – and when he called a cab after dinner and suggested that she should come to his place with him, that impression only grew, the glint in his eyes making it quite clear what he expected her from her once they’d be at his home.

“I’d rather go home, thank you”, Erin replied, trying not to flinch back when his hand landed on her thigh in response, unpleasantly sweaty even through her skirt, her anxiety making itself known again at the look he shot her.

“Come on”, he then said, sounding a bit annoyed while the driver looked in silence – and how Erin wished that it could have been Holtzmann again, because she would have put Phil in his place once more for acting like this, “we should… celebrate our reunion. Also, I paid for dinner, you owe me.”

“I don’t owe you anything”, Erin gave back, hating herself for the tremble in her voice and her timid tone, “and now I definitely want to go home.”

“Whatever”, Phil grumbled, “but don’t expect me to take you back a second time after this. This is it, I’ve had it with you.”

“ _You_ take _me_ back?” Erin demanded, her discomfort now mixing with outrage, “I’m pretty sure it was the way round, Phil. But yes, I agree, this is it.”

“Columbia University”, Phil snapped at the driver in response, who stepped on the gas pedal without another word; Erin could hardly believe that the man would do this, that he’d throw her out late at night at the university, but that was just what he did, sounding inappropriately gleeful when he wished her a good night as the cab sped off.

For a few moments, Erin stared after the vanishing taillights of the vehicle, hugging herself in the crisp night air; then, tears filled her eyes, and she pulled out her phone, her hands trembling as she typed a quick text, feeling bad as she knew she had no right to ask the receiver of said message for anything, not after what she had done.

_I know I have no right to ask you for anything, I’m so sorry and stupid and of course he was a jerk again, can you please come get me, I’m sorry._

She sent the text to Holtzmann before she could stop herself and then just stood there, shivering, fighting against her tears, asking herself why she had agreed to this in the first place and if Holtzmann would even bother with her anymore, and what she’d do if the other woman never wanted to see her again.

 

* * *

 

Holtzmann sighed as her recent fare left the cab. She should probably be home, working on her dissertation, or better yet, sleeping, but when she was upset she found driving the cab tended to take her mind off things. Holtz leaned her elbows on the steering wheel and rubbed her face.

It wasn’t working tonight.

After Erin had bolted from her cab the previous day she had sat in front of the professor’s apartment for several minutes, debating whether to follow her inside, lean on her doorbell and apologize. Instead Holtzmann sped off, tears clouding her vision so much she had to take her yellow-tinted glasses off in order to see where she was going.

She went back to her studio apartment and flopped on her futon, staring at the ceiling while rewinding everything that had happened in the last 24 hours.

_She’s just a confused straight girl. It wouldn’t have worked anyway. Her, a professor, you, a mad scientist. Better you know now than later, it would’ve hurt much more._

Except Holtzmann had never known this much heartache before and couldn’t imagine it being worse.

_You can’t fall for someone you’ve known for just a day. Can you?_

Holtzmann grunted and grabbed her leather jacket before hurrying out of her apartment. She knew what would cure her ails. Alcohol. And a pretty lady, with no strings attached.

She went to one of her usual haunts, not far from campus. The bartender had her whiskey neat ready for her before she had even made eye contact. In the middle of her third drink, Holtzmann felt a hand on her shoulder and met the eyes of a woman about her age, brown hair and brown eyes and curves in all the right places.

“Hey there. Need a friend?”

Normally Holtz would’ve responded with a wink and a flirtatious response and shortly thereafter she’d have the woman’s hands in her hair as she screamed her name on her futon. Or if she was particularly desperate, they’d be doing unspeakable things in one of the bar’s bathroom stalls. Holtzmann wasn’t usually picky.

But that night all Holtzmann could think of when she looked at that willing stranger was _Erin_ and how _Erin_ was prettier and _Erin_ was probably a better kisser.

“Thanks, but no thanks.”

The woman frowned at her before turning and leaving. Even the bartender gave her a look, having never seen the blonde turn down a proposition before. Holtzmann settled her bill and passed out at her apartment in a restless night of sleep.

That morning she had made a beeline for the campus cafe. She was planning on spending a good part of the day in the lab and needed caffeine desperately. As she was paying for her extra large coffee she spotted a flash of auburn colored hair in her peripheral vision.

_Erin. And *that* jackass._

She felt sick to her stomach as she saw Phil reach for Erin’s hand at a table in the corner of the cafe. She felt worse when Erin didn’t draw her hand back, the two of them apparently in the midst of an amicable conversation.

_Well that’s that Holtzmann. Good job, good effort with this one._

She had spent the better part of the morning and afternoon in the lab, coming close to blowing multiple pieces of equipment up. Her advisor, Dr. Gorin, stood next to her after several hours, the older woman’s concern evident on her face even through Holtzmann’s yellow tinted goggles.

“Jillian. Go home. Before you hurt yourself.”

Holtzmann begrudgingly agreed, knowing it was pointless to argue with her mentor. She went back home only to watch something mindless on TV while eating nearly an entire tube of Pringles. As soon as the sun set, she decided if she was going to mope, she might as well make a few dollars collecting fares.

She sighed and prepared to pull away from the curb when her phone buzzed. She blurrily reached for it, not expecting anyone to be texting her at this hour. And certainly not expecting the name which showed up on her lock screen.

_Erin._

Holtzmann read the professor’s desperate message several times, just to make sure she wasn’t seeing things.

_Don’t do it. Ignore it. Or better yet, tell her to call another damn cab driver._

_“K. tell me where u are.”_

Holtzmann felt a flash of anger when Erin texted back that she was on campus after being unceremoniously dumped by Phil. As Holtzmann headed toward her location, she attempted to steel herself for this unexpected reunion.

_Be pleasant but short. Take her to her apartment. Drop her off. Go home and drink until you pass out. That’s the plan._

All those thoughts went out the window when she spotted Erin and her tear-stained face, standing on the corner hugging herself before practically running for Holtzmann’s cab.

“Hey -” Holtzmann barely got the words out before Erin flung her arms around the blonde’s neck as soon as she closed the cab door behind her.

“I am so sorry Holtz. I’m so sorry.”

Erin’s words were muffled in Holtzmann’s neck, the sensations of her breath causing the younger woman to feel woozy. She wrapped her arms around the professor and held her, rubbing small circles on her back to comfort her. After several minutes Erin untangled herself from Holtz’s embrace, looking down at her fingers which were twitching.

“Are you ok Erin? He didn’t...hurt you did he?”

_If he did he’ll wish he was dead before I’m through with him._

“No - not physically anyway. You were right about him Holtz. He’s an asshole.”

Holtzmann rubbed Erin’s shoulder as she continued to sniffle.

“Hey, my place is not far from here if you just want to hang out for awhile. It’s not much, but I think I still have half a bag of Hershey’s Kisses leftover from Valentine's Day somewhere.”

Erin half-smiled. “Take me there Holtz.”

* * *

 

Holtzmann felt slightly embarrassed when she let Erin into her apartment. Being only a studio, to say it was cramped would have been an understatement. She had a futon in the middle of the room which she used as both bed and couch, a small coffee table and an old-school tube TV. She was sure the professor had a place much nicer than hers and hoped she wouldn’t turn around after seeing her cluttered, small living space.

“It’s not much, but she’s got it where it counts.” Holtzmann rapidly cleaned the empty Pringles tubes and assorted books off her futon in order to make room for both of them to sit.

“What are...those?” Erin wrinkled her nose and pointed at the far wall.

“Oh! Those are my children.”

“Your...children?"

“My chinchillas! I have four of them. They may poop everywhere but they’re good company. Have a seat, would you like something to drink?”

Erin straightened her skirt before sitting down on the bright red futon. “What do you have that’s cold and in the adult beverage category?”

“Beer, beer and more beer. What? I’m a graduate student, remember?”

Holtzmann hurriedly ran into her small kitchen and grabbed two bottles from her fridge, popping the caps off with a flourish. Erin chuckled as Holtzmann handed her a cold one and plopped next to her on the futon.

“Bottoms up!” Holtz clinked her beer bottle against the professor’s and took a long sip. Erin followed with a large gulp of her own.

The two women sat in silence for several minutes, seemingly unsure of what to say to one another.

_I should probably say something to break the ice, maybe just a joke or -_

“I’m really stupid you know?” Erin stared off into space, her beer close to being finished.

“You’re not stupid Erin. Far from it.”

“No?” Erin turned to look at Holtzmann, her eyes red-rimmed. “I make a mess out of everything Holtz. Everything. I mean, I don’t even know why I agreed to go out again with Phil tonight. Especially with what he did in your cab.”

Holtzmann put her beer down on the coffee table before balling up her fists in anger.

“He doesn’t deserve you. You’re brilliant and funny and beautiful. You’re too good for him Erin. And - “

Holtz’s thoughts were interrupted by Erin’s lips on her own, the professor’s hands on her cheeks. Holtzmann was momentarily stunned, but eventually responded to the kiss, albeit briefly, before pulling away.

Erin looked confused. “Holtz, don’t you want -”

“Erin.” Holtzmann tried to keep her voice steady even though her emotions were currently doing somersaults. “You have no idea how much I want this, but do you?”

The physicist opened her mouth to speak. When no words came out, Holtzmann continued.

“I’ve been burned by women who used me to experiment, who just wanted a lay. And most times I’m ok with that. But not with you.” Holtz brought her hand up to Erin’s cheek and stroked it lightly. “I know we’ve only just met, but I - I feel something for you. And I don’t think I could handle you running away from me again.” Holtzmann’s tongue felt heavy in her mouth.

“Please tell me you feel the same way Erin. Please.”

Holtzmann saw fear in Erin’s eyes again and her heart sunk.

_She’s gonna tell you she’s straight Holtzmann. She’s gonna break your heart._

“Holtz -” Erin swallowed audibly. “I’m not sure I’ve felt this way about anymore else before - especially another woman. And that terrifies me. Because Dr. Erin Gilbert is supposed to be your average, everyday woman, who is measured and definitely not daring at all. But when I’m with you I feel like I can do anything.”

Erin traced Holtzmann’s lips lightly with her fingertips.

“I can’t stop thinking about how meeting you was one of the most wonderful things that has ever happened to me. And I want - I want more.”

“Erin?”

“Yes, Holtz?”

“Kiss me again."

Erin leaned forward without hesitation and this time, Holtzmann was ready for her. The professor moaned into her mouth as Holtz ran her fingers through her hair, the other woman grabbing her waist. It took all Holtzmann’s willpower not to lean Erin back on the futon. She knew she had to take things slow.

_There will be time for that later. I hope._

Erin pulled away first, her eyes still closed. Holtzmann leaned her forehead against the professor’s and held her face between her hands gently.

“You ok?”

“Yeah,” Erin breathed, her eyes fluttering open. “No one’s ever - I mean I’ve never been kissed like that before.”

“Like what?”

“Like...so wonderfully. That was the best kiss of my life and it’s not even close.”

Holtzmann surely thought her face would break from the width of her smile. “Stick with me kid, I’ll show you a lot of things.”

“Holtzzzzz,” Erin giggled and blushed. Holtzmann planted another kiss on Erin’s lips before the physicist yawned.

“You tired sweetheart?”

“Yeah, I haven’t been sleeping well lately. The last couple of days have been crazy.”

“That’s because you met me,” Holtzmann winked before she turned serious. “Hey, you could crash here. No pressure or anything. Rather than you going back out to go home. Plus, I’d like the company.”

“If you don’t mind…”

“Nope!” Holtzmann sprung up and headed toward a small dresser stashed in the miniscule closet. “Here, you can borrow these.” She tossed a pair of jogging pants and an oversized Snoopy t-shirt into the professor’s lap. “Don’t worry, they’re clean!”

“Thanks Holtz.” Erin stood up, looking unsure.

“Oh, bathroom! Right through there!” Holtzmann pointed at a beaded curtain that led to the small bathroom. Erin smiled and planted a kiss on her cheek before going to get changed.

_Maybe one day she’ll change in front of me. Stop itttttttt._

Holtzmann quickly changed as well, putting on a fresh t-shirt while remaining in her boxer shorts and a mismatched pair of socks. She found the remote and turned on the TV, switching the overhead light off before settling back on the futon.

“My clothes look good on you.” Holtzmann raised an eyebrow as Erin re-entered the room, now adorning her borrowed sleepwear. The blonde couldn’t help but grin when she saw the professor’s cheeks color.

“What are you watching?” Erin sat down next to Holtzmann who quickly put her arm around the other woman’s shoulders. Erin followed suit by resting her head on Holtzmann’s chest, wrapping her arm loosely around the younger woman’s waist.

“I dunno, something on PBS. I can’t afford cable so it’s usually either this or a test pattern.”

Holtzmann felt Erin snuggle closer to her. She spoke softly as Holtz ran her fingers through her hair.

“I’m so glad I got into your cab the other night.”

Holtzmann blinked back tears as she continued to play with Erin’s hair. After a few moments she realized the professor had already fallen asleep. Holtz turned the TV off via remote and carefully reached for the blanket at the end of the futon. She wrapped the cover around both their bodies, Erin shifting a bit while murmuring something sleepily.

Holtzmann kissed the top of Erin’s head.

“I’m glad you got into my cab too Dr. Erin Gilbert.”


	4. Chapter 4

In the next morning, Erin woke feeling surprisingly refreshed, not even sure when she had fallen asleep; Holtzmann was still snoring next to her, one arm loosely draped around the professor’s waist, the other beneath her head, her hair a glorious mess on the pillow, the sight being enough to make Erin smile slightly.

For a few moments, then the all too well known anxiety and doubtful voice set back in.

_What are you doing, Erin,_ she thought before she could stop herself, _not only is this a woman, but she’s like ten years younger than you, and a student! Not in your field, granted, but still._

Her heartbeat sped up, and she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath; she reminded herself of how good it had felt to kiss Holtzmann, how oddly _right_ it had been to feel the other woman’s lips on hers.

_When I’m with you, I feel like I can do anything._

She had meant it when she had said those words, they hadn’t just been empty phrases; and thinking of that made her think back to what Holtzmann had said before she had kissed the younger woman, and she found herself smiling, some of her panic vanishing as she remembered the blonde’s kind words.

_He doesn’t deserve you. You’re brilliant and funny and beautiful. You’re too good for him._

Erin wasn’t quite sure if this was true – she had been called brilliant before, for her work, but not even Phil, whom she had been dating for months, had ever called her beautiful, and certainly not funny. Holtzmann had looked as if she had meant it though when she had said it, and even though Erin didn’t know the other woman well yet, and was perfectly well aware of this fact, she doubted that Holtzmann would lie so convincingly about something like that.

_You did notice the way she looked at you when she talked about not being able to handle you running away again, right,_ she reminded herself, heart clenching up at the quiet desperation she had seen in the younger woman’s eyes during said little speech, _she wasn’t lying when she said that. And she meant the other stuff, too, you know she did._

Holtzmann grunted next to her, distracting her from her thoughts; she looked over, and her eyes met the blonde’s, the way Holtzmann smiled the second their gazes met making her heart clench up again, even though it wasn’t with anxiety this time.

“Good morning babe”, Holtzmann mumbled, sitting up and moving a strand of hair behind her ear, “slept well?”

Holtz made no comment about Erin still being there by her side in the morning, but the professor could see the quiet relief in her eyes, and momentarily, she wondered if Holtzmann had feared that she’d sneak out during the night; and even though part of her was still frightened of what this might do to her reputation, what it might make people think of her, she suddenly was determined to prove Holtz wrong about her fears, anxieties and worries be damned.

And so, she just gave a brief nod, then leaned in to press her lips to Holtzmann’s; the blonde kissed her back at once, moving one hand to cup her jaw, the gentle touch sending a very pleasant shiver up and down her spine.

“Good morning to you, too”, Erin mumbled after the kiss, earning a bright smile from the blonde, “I hope you slept well, too.”

“Did”, Holtzmann confirmed, running her fingertips down the other woman’s arm, making Erin wonder if she was aware of the goosebumps she left their wake, “how could I not, next to you.”

“Aw”, Erin let out, blushing, but smiling, “you’re so sweet.”

“And you haven’t even seen the full Holtzmann sweetness yet”, Holtz replied, winking, only causing Erin’s blush to deepen; she cleared her throat and stole another brief kiss, then asked if she could shower first, earning an immediate nod from the other woman.

“Coffee will be done by the time you get out”, Holtzmann promised as Erin got up, eying her unabashedly, even though the professor didn’t feel all too attractive in sweatpants and the oversized shirt, “but beware, I’ve been told I make it way too strong. Fair warning.”

“I can’t wait to find out”, Erin smiled, earning a toothy grin from the blonde; her own smile widened in response, then made her way to the bathroom, and as she showered, she told herself that she could do this and that things would work out just fine, that in this day and age, two women together shouldn’t be upsetting anyone, and that she’d take what Holtzmann was offering her, suddenly just sure that things would work out the way she was hoping for.

* * *

 

Two weeks had passed since that fateful night, and even though Erin still experienced moments of anxiety about this new relationship, things were going mostly well; Holtzmann hadn’t promised too much when she had told her that she hadn’t seen the full Holtzmann sweetness yet, regularly stunning her with how thoughtful and caring and loving she was, always putting Erin’s needs before her own, apparently quite determined to make sure that the redhead was feeling good about herself and about this relationship.

Erin still had worried, at first, that it might cause trouble for both of them at Columbia, what with Holtzmann being a student and her being a professor; and people had reacted with surprise, at first, when the relationship had been become known on campus, but so far, nobody had given her any grief for it. Apparently, dating a student was alright if she wasn’t actually teaching said student, and since Holtzmann was in a different field, Erin could put her worries about this aside fairly quickly.

And she was quite glad that she had nothing to do with the professors of nuclear engineering, because she met Holtzmann’s mentor once, Dr Gorin, when she picked the blonde up from the lab, and found the woman honestly terrifying. When she had mentioned this to Holtz, the blonde had been amused, and had reassured her that Gorin wasn’t as dreadful as she might appear, and actually quite pleasant to work with, something Erin found somewhat hard to believe, but hadn’t questioned.

Abby had been immensely happy for her, and not just because Erin was away from Phil for good; she had commented on how much happier, how much more relaxed her best friend seemed ever since she had gotten together with Holtzmann, and how this relationship was apparently so much healthier than what she’d had with Phil.

She could be happy to have that man out of her life, Erin had been told, and knew that it was true, and that she wouldn’t take him back in a million years; even though they still worked together, she so far had managed to avoid any confrontation with him, to her great relief.

Until he had other ideas, one day at campus.

* * *

 

It was a beautiful day when Erin swung by the lab Holtzmann was camped out in, having walked to the engineering building after her lecture was completed. Holtz was in the midst of soldering some wires for a new piece of equipment when she heard Dr. Gorin’s voice.

“Jillian. Dr. Gilbert is here to see you.”

Holtzmann turned off the soldering iron the second she knew Erin was there. She could see the professor through her heavy goggles, quickly peeling them off and bounding to Erin’s side, pressing a light kiss to her cheek.

“Hey babe. Lunch?”

“Sure.”

She noticed Erin seemed to be a little quieter than normal, her brow furrowed. _I’ll have to ask her about that_ she thought as she waved goodbye to her mentor.

The two women strolled leisurely on campus, their hands interlaced with one another’s. They hadn’t spoken since leaving the lab, causing Holtzmann some concern

“Erin, you ok?”

“Yeah, it’s just - before I came into the lab Dr. Gorin pulled me aside. She said she had something to say to me.”

“Oh?” Inwardly Holtzmann groaned. Her mentor tended to be somewhat overprotective of her and hoped she hadn’t said anything out of line.

Erin stopped on the sidewalk and turned to Holtzmann, now holding both of the blonde’s hands in her own. When she looked into Holtz’s eyes, it looked as if she was holding back tears.

“She said - she said that you’re a very special person and that I was good for you. She said that she could tell I made you very happy.”

“And that upset you?”

“No. Yes. It just kind of hit me that this relationship is real and -”

Holtzmann stopped Erin from speaking further by capturing her lips in a sweet kiss.

“This is 100% real Erin. And you make me very happy.” Holtzmann breathed against Erin’s lips.

“You make me very happy too Holtz.”

“Great!” Holtzmann tugged the professor by one hand and continued walking down the sidewalk with her. “I’m hungry, let’s get some grub.”

Erin couldn’t help but giggle.

* * *

 

Holtzmann rested her head in Erin’s lap, satisfied to pop Pringles in her mouth as the professor sat against a large tree in one of the university’s courtyards. The professor was reviewing some notes with one hand, her other hand stroking Holtz’s hair Both women were content with the comfortable silence between them.

Suddenly a shadow blocked the sun from Holtzmann’s eyes. She cocked her head to see a figure standing over the two of them.

“You dumped me for this?”

Upon hearing Phil’s voice Holtzmann instantly sat up, not caring her open tube of Pringles rolled several feet away.

“Phil. What do you want?” Erin sounded annoyed, but Holtzmann could sense a slight tinge of fear in the professor’s voice.

“I heard the rumors, but I had to see this for myself. Erin Gilbert went lezzy eh? That would explain why you were so frigid in bed.”

“HEY!” Holtzmann rose to her feet, furious. “Don’t you dare talk to her like that! In fact, don’t even look at her! You’re not worthy of being in the same airspace as Erin!”

Holtz straightened up, trying to make herself as tall and imposing as possible but Phil still had a good foot in height on her. He looked down and glared at the blonde, just an arm’s length away.

“Who are you to even speak to me that way punk? You think it’s some accomplishment to bed Erin? Good luck with that - you’re going to be sorely disappointed, if you aren’t already.”

“Holtz, let’s just go. He’s not worth it.” Erin had stood up and placed her hand on the blonde’s shoulder, imploring her to walk away.

“Go fuck yourself Phil.” Holtzmann’s face was nearly purple, her rage threatening to overtake her.

Phil snorted and brought his face close to Holtzmann’s. “Who’s gonna make me? You? You’re just a frizzy-haired pipsqueak.”

It happened before Holtz could think really. It was just an instantaneous reaction to being disrespected and challenged by a man.

Holtzmann brought her knee up and speared him in the groin. Phil dropped like a sack of potatoes, whimpering like a small child while rolling around on the ground.

She stood there a moment, almost in shock she had done such a thing in front of Erin and half the campus.

_Consequences be damned, that prick had it coming…_

Holtzmann heard a cough behind her and turned to see Erin biting her lip, turning red from trying not to laugh. Holtz leaned over and gave her a smooch.

“Now we can go Erin. Enjoy icing your sad sack there Phillip.”

“You’ll pay for this -” Phil sputtered, still rolling around on the ground.

“Go to hell. If you come near us again I’ll get a restraining order. Oh and -” Erin flicked Phil the double bird before turning around and walking away.

“Proud of you baby.” Holtzmann wrapped her arm around Erin’s shoulder and kissed her on the cheek as they walked toward where Holtz’s cab was parked.

* * *

 

Holtzmann glanced over at Erin. They were sitting on the couch in Erin’s apartment, watching a documentary. She noticed the professor had become somewhat distant since they had ate dinner, and it almost seemed as if she had purposely slid over to the far end of the couch as to not get into Holtzmann’s space.

“Erin?” Holtz reached over and stroked Erin’s hand. “Everything all right? You’ve been kind of quiet tonight.”

Erin sighed and slowly turned to face Holtzmann.

“Do you believe him? That I’m frigid? I mean we haven’t done more than make out a bit and I’m sure you want more from me. But - I don’t know Holtz.”

Holtzmann reached for the remote to turn the TV off. She grabbed both of Erin’s cheeks and stroked them lightly, her blue eyes looking into dark ones that were full of tears.

“I don’t believe a word that jackass says. And I care too much about you to put any time limit or ultimatum on what we do or don’t do in terms of sex. I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me Erin.”

Holtzmann leaned over to place a tender kiss on Erin’s lips. She had intended it to be comforting, but within moments the professor had her hands wrapped in her curls and was caressing her tongue with her own, causing Holtzmann to feel a burning sensation below her waist.

It wasn’t long before Holtz was on top of Erin, who had been tenderly laid down on the couch by the blonde. Holtzmann was placing open mouthed kisses on the professor’s neck when she heard Erin whisper huskily in her ear.

“I want you Holtzmann.”

Holtz popped her head up to look Erin in the eyes. The physicist’s pupils were blown, eyelids hooded. She licked her lips as she looked Holtz up-and-down, causing the younger woman to feel lightheaded.

“Erin - don’t feel like you have to do this just because of what that asshole said. I don’t want to rush this - ohhhhh god.”

The professor had snaked her hand down Holtzmann’s body and began rubbing her crotch through her trousers. Holtz involuntarily bucked her hips against Erin’s hand, gripping the back of the couch so she wouldn’t put all her weight on top of the woman below her.

_Holy shit, I want this so bad..._

“You’re so hot Holtz. I think you’ve waited long enough. Take me to my bedroom. Make me scream.”

Holtzmann swallowed.

“Yes doctor.”

* * *

 

For a moment, Holtzmann thought she was still asleep and dreaming. Herself and Erin were naked in the professor’s bed, a light sheet covering both their bodies. Erin had her head resting on Holtz’s breast, her arm wrapped around her middle. The blonde pushed a lock of auburn hair behind Erin’s ear and kissed the sleeping woman on her forehead.

Holtzmann had had sex plenty of times before, but never like last night. Every touch seemed amplified, every moan shook her to the core. When Erin came for the first of several times Holtzmann almost burst into tears, moved by how beautiful the woman was underneath her. And how lucky she was to share this moment with her.

_Is this what love is?_

Late into the night Holtzmann guided Erin to what made her feel good. The professor was a quick study, and it wasn’t long before she was moaning Erin’s name repeatedly as she saw stars. Holtz was pretty sure she had never come that hard and that quickly with another person before.

Erin stirred on Holtzmann’s chest. She stroked the professor’s cheek as she slowly woke up, tired eyes meeting bright blue ones.

“Hey hot stuff. How are ya feeling?”

“Wonderful. Ecastic. I’m so happy Holtz.”

Erin reached over to plant a kiss on Holtzmann, the blonde smiling broadly when the professor pulled away.

“Me too baby. Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Holtzbros struck again ;) Thank you all for reading - and keep an eye out for our future stuff :D


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